Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
