thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
