do herpes really smell.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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