I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
P.S. I can't hear my feet
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
