Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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