my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
