I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I skipped work to stalk him.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
