You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
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