Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
