Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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