I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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