Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
