So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Found your dick twin last night
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Randomize
