You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
