I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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