and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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