It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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