Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
