dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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