Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
