Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
