4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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