She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
