so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
