So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
