life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
