my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
