He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize