i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
