Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
