so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Damn victory sex feels great
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize