so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
