I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
