Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
