I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
