the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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