I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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