someone threw a dead crab at me
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
