No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
two words...techno handjob
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
