No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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