and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
