Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We need to rekindle our bromance
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize