is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize