i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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