You don't have asthma, your pregnant
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
