I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
