Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
