I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
