A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
