she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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