dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
