I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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