i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
a search helicopter?!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize