how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
