her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
