Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
