What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
