Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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