he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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