Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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