glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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