I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
