Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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