3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
