he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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