Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
