Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
