Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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